40岁的人能和20岁的人约会吗_风闻

【来源龙腾网】

评论原创翻译：

Paul Fenn, Some knowledge of women, vice, books and rough travel

At 42 I met a woman of 22, “Ms X” at the local rock climbing gym. For some months we joked around whenever we’d meet, and I suppose did something like flirt. But this woman was a serious participant with a sharp wit, also something of a tomboy, and I imagine she found the idea of flirting moronic. Especially with a man two years shy of twice her age.

I gradually got to know her on a platonic basis; we’d belay each other at the gym, go on climbing-camping trips, usually with 6–8 other climbers aged 20–50. We had nothing going on between us that I was aware of. We were just two folks out of large group of climbers who knew each other and sometimes traveled far, overseas included, to climb. It was rare for climbers at our gym to sleep together, because no one much wanted to shit where they ate. But it had happened to me once before, and though making for some uncomfortable moments, had passed, and that woman and I were able to remain cordial.

So it went, until one hot summer night, when Ms X, a mutual female friend around her age, and I went for beers and burritos after a hard climb. We had a hilarious old time, talking openly about our various failed relationships and countless idiots and psychopaths we’d all dated.

42岁时，我在当地的攀岩馆遇到了一位22岁的女士—X女士。几个月来，我们每次见面都会开玩笑，要我说就是调情之类。但是这个女人是一个严肃的参与者，有着敏锐的智慧，也有点假小子的味道，我料想她会觉得调情这个想法是很愚蠢的。尤其是和一个差两岁就比她大一倍的男人。

我逐渐在柏拉图式的基础上认识了她；在健身房我们会互相保护、进行攀岩野营旅行，通常与其他6-8名20到50岁的攀岩者一起。我知道我们之间什么关系都没有—我们只是一大群相互认识的登山者中的两个人，有时还远行（包括海外）去登山。在我们健身房，登山者很少一起睡觉，因为没人想在吃饭的地方拉屎。但这在我身上发生过一次，虽然让我感到有些不舒服，但已经过去了，我和那个女人能够保持热情友好的关系。

就这样，直到一个炎热的夏夜，在艰难的攀爬后，X女士、一位和她年龄相仿的女性朋友和我一起去喝啤酒和墨西哥煎饼。我们度过了一段欢乐的往日时光，公开谈论我们各种各样的失败的关系，以及我们都约会过的无数白痴和精神病患者。

At around 1am, I invited them back to my bachelor pad. I lived on the ground floor of a cool old house a few blocks away, and they came up. It was a school night, but no matter. We smoked a joint, got well baked and the mutual friend was soon snoozing on my sofa, leaving Ms X seated at my computer, doing something useful to it for me — she worked as an IT tech at a downtown white-shoe law firm.

I should back up here to explain what else had already caught my imagination about Ms X. Not only had she fled her religion-stupefied parents back east in the Maritimes at age 20, but had come to Toronto more or less penniless, on her own, having only attended secretarial college post-high school. Once here she’d realized that being able to type, use MS-Word and file alphabetically does not a great career make, and so had worked crap jobs and taken to going to the local big-box book store to crib notes from computer manuals for the various software programs used in the legal industry. This was in about 2001, before the internet had everything under the sun freely available on it.

With the knowledge gleaned from doing that, she’d managed to get herself this job at this firm, a place with hundreds of the smartest, attack-dog litigators and so on in the country. Ms X was that driven she’d BS’d her way into a good paying gig there with no paper qualifications.

凌晨1点左右，我邀请他们回到我的单身公寓。我住在一栋很酷的老房子的一楼，就在几个街区之外，他们来了。那天晚上要上学，不过没关系。我们抽了根大麻烟，喝得烂醉，这位共同的朋友很快就在我的沙发上打盹，让X女士坐在我的电脑前，为我做一些有用的事情—她在市中心的一家为特权阶层服务的律师事务所做IT技术员。

在这里，我应该回过头来解释一下，还有什么东西已经勾起了我对X女士的想象。她不仅在20岁时脱离了对宗教感到震惊的父母管控，回到了东部的沿海地区，而且几乎身无分文，只身一人来到多伦多，高中毕业后只上了秘书学院。一到这里，她就意识到自己仅仅能够打字、使用MS-Word和按字母顺序归档，这并不能成就一份伟大事业，因此她做了没有公正待遇的工作，去当地的大型书店从计算机操作手册中暗中抄写下法律行业需要使用的各种软件程序，这大约是在2001年，在互联网上还无法免费得到一切资料。

凭借从中获得的知识，她成功地在这家公司找到了这份工作，这家公司在全国拥有数百名最聪明，最厉害的诉讼律师等等。X女士正是因为这个原因，才在没有文凭的情况下，说了半天的废话之后找到了这份薪水不错的工作。

Moreover, she spoke in complete, articulate sentences, read law books and the classics — meaning she actually sounded enough like an intelligent young female lawyer that she fit right into the firm’s highbrow culture. She also dressed well, looking comparatively snazzed up in that professional environment, in spite of her far lower (than a lawyer) income.

The most remarkable thing about her, however, was she did all this while also being a chronic pothead. By chronic I mean, wake and bake, blunts at coffee and lunch time in the BMO tower’s underground parking garage with another woman on her tech team — the full-on daily stoner package.

I had a lot a respect for all of it. I’m no stoner, but I’m self-taught, a high school dropout, and had gone through my share of struggles to achieve what I had. I could barely handle more than a puff of weed before either falling asleep or drifting off in my own thoughts to the point of social isolation or embarrassment.

She was, of course, very attractive: Blonde, with wild curly long hair, very fit and perfect skin, ever-so-slightly bucktoothed such that she flashed her clean ivories whenever she smiled, which she didn’t often do, being already toughened up and self-protectively cynical about the hard old world as she was. Oh, and she was perpetually clad in Lululemon when at the gym.

As she gazed into my computer screen, I tapped her shoulder, then lowered my face to hers, lips ajar. She looked up, a bit shocked at the gesture, set her lips in a similar pose and moved her face toward mine. In an instant we’d crash-landed into my bed. I heard the other girl let herself out at some point later. We went nuts on each other for hours.

She roused herself early the next morning, scooting off home to shower and change, making it to work on time.

此外，她说话完整，句子清晰，阅读法律书籍和经典著作—这意味着她实际上听起来很像一位聪明的年轻女律师，完全符合公司的高雅文化。尽管她的收入远低于(一名律师)，但她穿得也很得体，在那种职业环境中显得比较时髦。

然而，最值得注意的是，她在做这一切的同时，也是一个长期的吸毒者。我说的“长期”是指，起床后烘烤面包，在蒙特利尔银行大楼的地下停车场喝咖啡和吃午饭的时候，和她技术团队的另一名女性一起—每天都要吸食毒品。

我非常尊重这一切，我不是一个瘾君子，但我自学成才，高中就辍学了，我也经历过奋斗才取得了现在的成就。我只能吸一口大麻，要么就睡着了，要么就在自己的思绪中迷迷糊糊地睡去，以至于被社会孤立或感到尴尬。

当然，她非常有魅力:金发碧眼，一头狂野的卷发，非常健康和完美的皮肤，每当微笑时，总是看到有一点点龅牙—不经常微笑，她已经变得坚强起来，对这个艰难的旧世界充满了自我保护的愤世嫉俗。哦，她在健身房总是穿露露柠檬（美国瑜伽服装品牌）的衣服。

当她凝视着我的电脑屏幕时，我轻轻拍了拍她的肩膀，然后低下头，嘴唇微张着。她抬起头，被这个姿势吓了一跳，她的嘴唇摆出类似的姿势，然后把脸转向我的脸。一瞬间我们就撞到了我的床上。后来我听到另一个女孩出去了。我们疯狂了好几个小时。

第二天一大早，她就起床了，飞快地赶回家洗澡换衣服，准时上班。

I assumed it would be a one-off event, me being 42 and not at all believing that a female her age and I could seriously amount to anything like viable. Problem was, I already liked her, cared about her, felt invested in her welfare — at first as a friend and now as her (potential) lover. The other aspect of her that was lust-inducing was that prior to our tryst she’d had almost no sexual experience, and certainly none that was remotely good — according to her own descxtions of things. And boy, had she risen to occasion that night, beyond any fantasizable expectations.

Hell yes, I felt more than a little dirty that next day. I am not naive about how the world views these things. I have a measure of self-respect. I also have a lot of old friends who’ve known me since I was a boy. I knew if I went ahead with this, it would be huge arse-pain explaining and defending it, especially to my single female friends in my age range. Except there were none of the classic extenuating circumstances that usually infest such relationships; I had no serious money, no house, no car, nothing fancy to offer this woman by way of a lifestyle upgrade.

Thus, I decided that next day to let her hold all the cards in terms of any continuance of our dalliance.

我以为这是一次一次性的活动，我已经42岁了，根本不相信她这个年龄的女人和我真的有可能并可行吗？问题是，我已经喜欢她、关心她了，觉得自己对她的幸福感而投资—起初是作为一个朋友，现在是作为她的（潜在的）情人另一方面，在我们幽会之前，她几乎没有性经验，从她自己的描述来看，也没有遇到一个做爱很厉害的。天哪，那天晚上，她的表现超出了任何人的想象。

当然了，第二天我感到有点下流。对于世界如何看待这些事情，我并不天真。我对世界如何看待这些事情并不天真。我有一定的自尊。我也有很多从我小时候就认识的老朋友，他们从我小时候就认识我了。我知道，如果我继续这样做，解释和捍卫它将是一件非常痛苦的事，尤其是对我同龄的单身女性朋友。若不是有一个经典的例外情况，通常会困扰这种关系；我没有钱，没有房子，没有汽车，也没有什么可以让这个女人生活方式升级的东西。

因此，我决定第二天让她掌握我们继续调情的所有筹码